I will sing of Your mercy.......

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold and there shall be no herd in the stalls; yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my Salvation

Habakkuk 3:17-18


A song came on the radio while I was driving home today. I have heard it before, many times in fact but today it struck me. I just want to share the lyrics with you. May it speak to your heart as it did mine......

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you


I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures


Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
Valley Song by Jars of Clay

It occurred to me......

Sometimes I threaten to spit at God!


Let me explain........this is Tia. Tia is our new guard Llama. I think she is beautiful and I love her. Just because. She has decided, however, that she does not love me. Not even a little. In fact this is her demeanor whenever I am around.......

and if I try to get any closer she lays her ears back, lifts her head and lets me know if no uncertain terms that if step any closer, she.is.going.to.spit.!! That's all fine and well, except the gnats are kinda bad this year and I really wanted to give her a bit of relief from their pesturing using a bit of fly spray. I know, it stinks and the spray can be a bit unnerving; but as we well know comfort and necessity rarely go hand in hand. I gave up. Llama spit is pretty gross.

And as often is the case, my mind turned to my relationship with God:

Rachel, you know that pet sin is really wrecking havoc in your life.....could I just.....

No, you cannot! Don't get any closer! I am perfectly happy with this sin and I think I will hang on to a little while longer, thank you very much.

And being the gentleman that He is, God does as I ask. He will not force His will on me, even when it is for my own good. He will simply wait, until I am ready to submit to His perfect way.

Revive Us Oh Lord........

Remember Me.......

This week (Thursday to be exact) is the 4 year anniversary of the day we lost our son and were forced to live the rest of our lives without him. I hope you will take a moment to read the following excerpt of his journal, which we found after his death.

The War
How I see it.....
Todd Louis Peck II, February 2005

My intention in this journal is to record as best as possible the spiritual warfare surrounding my recent relapse of cancer so that I may later remember the lessons learned and perhaps share them with others. In fact, sharing the lessons is actually the bigger of my two reasons. My greatest hope is that through my fight and this record of it, others will be equipped and encouraged to take the fight to the Enemy. I believe that all of life is a war fought over the souls of each individual and everything that happens in life somehow fits into this war, whether we know it or not. So when hardships and trials come they ought to be viewed as Enemy attacks and dealt with accordingly.
In war, the purpose of any attack is, of course, to gain some sort of advantage that will in some way bring you nearer ultimate victory. Rather, that sought after advantage is the destruction of some threat which the other has or the gaining of a position that leaves you a better position to threaten the other. The point is always to somehow harm the other's overall position in the great scheme of things.
Thus, this relapse of cancer that God allowed was and is inteneded by the Enemy to somehow gain him something. That something, in this case, is porobably to neutralize what the Enemy's high command perceives as a danger to their war efforts.
That threat may or may not be me (thought I like ot flatter myself that it is) but the fact is that, for whatever reason, I seem to have been chosen as the main point of attack. I therefore, as a soldier in the King's Army, have responsibility to stand and fight to make sure that the Enemy gains not an inch. For it is my (and every soldier's) duty to even turn this attack to the advantage of the Cause and the glory of the King.
This whole thing reasches far beyond me, however. It reaches into my family and into my church and community. I am just on fect of what is a large and complex battle being fought in this small theater of operation called West Michigan. The full extent of this larger fight I will not ever be able to fully comprehend this side of Heaven. Nor will I likely ever understand the extent to which my own standing or falling will influence the larger picture but I will stand!
Indeed, I am resolved to not just stand, but advance! I may be a small part of a huge batle but I will press my influence to its limits for the sake of the Cause.
Lord, have mercy if I should be cut down (i.e. if I allow the Enemy to get the better of me) fo rthe greater the effort, the greater the defeat in the case of failure. But by the grace of God, I shall not fail! As He wills, so may it be. Amen.

Obediance = Love

2 Cor 5:14 ‘For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.’

The Bible tells us that Christ's love compels us (some version use the word constrain) to live for Him, to consider ourselves dead to our own will and alive to His alone.

compel: to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure; to urge forcefully or irresistibly

Lord, cause me to be overwhelmed by Your love. So much so that it forces me to obey, that it leaves me no choice by to live by Your will alone. Help me to understand that it was by Your love for me that I was drawn out of the pit before I even understood my need. Please help me to learn to truly love you by walking in obediance.

The Art of Doing

Many of us have perfected the art of "doing". I feel a burden now to perfect the art of waiting. My husband and I are in a moment of our lives that is quite difficult and quite beyond our control. At this moment there is nothing we can do, instead we must wait. Waiting is difficult because waiting on God means trusting Him completely. It means I take my hands off the wheel and I declare Him Lord in this situation. It is an act of depending on His promises and believing they are true. It means that He can do as He wills........and I must die to myself.

Life is fragile......

It is amazing to me how quickly things can change. I called a friend last night just to check up. Her husband has been battling cancer for some time now. "How are you doing?" She says she's okay and then she tells me the doctors figure her husband has three more days left to live......he just wants to go home, lay in their bed and hold his wife one last time. Then she tells me "God is good" Isn't it ironic that the broken hearted are the ones who most understand the goodness of God?

It made me think, what if I had only three days left with Todd? The little irritants wouldn't matter anymore, I would lace every word with love. I would not let him leave a room without holding him and telling him I love him. His needs and desires would matter more than mine, I would put aside everything to please him. As I write this, it occurs to me, I would do exactly what God has called me to all along......