Friday, February 26, 2010

It would have been enough….

If He had just called me out of darkness - it would have been enough.

But he gave me joy…

If He had just forgiven me – it would have been enough.

But He called me His child…

Even if He had just left me to die in my sin – it would have been enough.

But He has made me beautiful with His Salvation.

What praise is enough for a God like this?   What sacrifice is worthy?   How can I glorify anything but You?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010



Why is it that what is so easy for my nine year old –is at times so difficult for me?

But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.

II Corinthians 11:3

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Rebuilding the Ancient Ruins…

…And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins; you will raise up the age-old foundations; and you will be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of the streets in which to dwell…

Isaiah 58:11-12

Spiritual Warfare… real, how easy mistaken for just the daily difficulties of life.   How like Elijah- we climb Mount Carmel so confident in the Lord’s work only to run from Jezebel…how desperate we are for God.  How ignorant we often are of that need.

I have been fasting each Monday since Near began and I have set my heart to seek and run after God.   I have stood on the mountain and declared the power of God and huddled in my bed with tears streaming in discouragement. 

The above passage from Isaiah follows God’s call for fasting.

Is this not the fast I choose to loosen the bonds of wickedness….

And if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted

Then your light will rise in darkness…

We are often told that nothing worthwhile comes easy.  I will keep crying, I will keep seeking and when I can no longer run I will crawl.

Jesus, can I have more of you?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

How interesting…

Many of you know that we lost our oldest son to cancer in 2005.  And as those of you who have lost a loved know- much like a broken bone, the wound heals but everytime it rains you still ache.

Lately it has been raining in my life a lot.  I am leaning on God and trusting Him for direction but it often feels like I am just wandering in the wilderness.

When you walk through the water…I will be with you…

It seems I spend more time crying then not. 

When you walk through the river, the waves will not overtake you…

Then an interesting thing happened.

I am in a contest at the gym near one of my restaurants.  There is a group of six of us and a coach.   I thought the coach looked a bit familiar but figured that it she was one of many people that go through my restaurant.

When you walk on the fire…

Turns out I know her from somewhere else.  She is one of the nurses who cared for my son while he was in the hospital.

the flames they will not touch you…

My manager in a passing conversation mentioned my son after I had left.  How he had died…

“I can’t talk to you about it” ….”tell Rachel I am here if she wants to talk.”

You are mine.

So unexpected.  The tears come again…and it’s already raining.

You are mine.


(The italicized words are lyrics from You are Mine from Enter the Worship Circle 3.  While at Near on Monday night, I asked for prayer and the lyrics were mentioned.  How wonderfully fitting…)

Monday, February 1, 2010

our eyes are on You…

Today marks the second week of Near

I really don’t know what to share today but I felt I must share something.  I am struggling and have been for the past two weeks.  Nothing major has happened…nobody has died, all is well but…

the daily disappointments and discouragements seem a bit overwhelming right now….i feel forgotten and alone…

This morning in my daily reading I came across this-

…For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.  2 chronicles 20:12

It is enough.  To look to God for the answers and patiently wait…