Hey Brad- this one's for you!

Sorry we didn't get to talk long. You have been through a lot and I just wanted to take the time to share some things that helped me when life kept beating me down.

This song is called The Wilderness and it's by the Supertones (Am I showing my age?) It played in my car daily and loudly after Todd died. To this day it moves me in a way I can't explain, I hope you can listen to it and that it blesses you.




Just in case you don't get a chance to listen, here are the words:

The rain falls on the righteous and the wicked
Mine is not to reason why this is
In this I rest in this I find my refuge
That my thoughts and ways are not His

I spend my life on looking up the answers
It's rare that I can't find a reason why
But reasons fail at children without mothers
His plan is more than I can know

Have you ever held in doubt
What this life is all about
Have you questioned all these things
that seem important to us
Do you really wanna know
Or are you a little scared
You are afraid that God is not really
exactly what you'd have Him be
What should I hold to and what should I do
How do I know if anything's true
I'm somewhere in-between Canaan and Egypt
A place called the wilderness

I'm not one who always trusts their feelings
I don"t believe in what you'd call blind faith
But faith that you can do all that you promised
And you said it all works for good
It's safe to say I don't see the big picture
I can't see the forest for the trees
And if five hundred lives
Were mine to get to know
You all could be spent on just this

God do you really understand what it's like to be a man
Have You ever felt the weight of
loving all the things you Hate
Have You struggled have you worried
How can You sympathize?

I have spoken too soon put my hand over my mouth
I can't contend with You
Your ways are so much higher
And we pass through the fire that
Christ endured before us
When You were in the wilderness

You know when John the Baptist was in jail he sent men to Jesus "Are you the one or do we look for another?" People disagree on this but I firmly believe John needed to hear Jesus say "Yes, I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. What you do for Me is not in vain. Your life has not been wasted and your hurts don't go unnoticed."

You have a lot on your plate: you are looking forward to some scary things and you have had a lot of disappointments. I guess all I am trying to say is that God is not afraid of the questions and I know that He has the answers for you, He had them for me.

Hey guys don't forget Brad and the guys serving our country! Please pray for them daily!

Discouragement.....

We have many seasons in our life. Sometimes everything seems right (although those times seem brief), then other times everything seems to go wrong. That's where I am right now. I apologize b/c this post is not a well thought out one; more it is a pouring out of the discouragement that I feel inside. Our refrigeration is slowly dying, our washing machine won't work properly, my computer keeps freezing, our oven is not heating properly.......I could go on and on. I am sure many of you could also. There is more broken than there is money to fix it, more to do than there is time to do it. I keep reminding myself, this too shall pass. I keep trying to focus on God and glorifying Him in the storm so that when I pass through I will know I have pleased Him. Interestingly as I was looking for a suitable picture I came across this photo I took last summer. I passed it by b/c I just didn't think a butterfly was suitable for the gloom and doom I feel inside. But, then I thought, no it is quite suitable. I imagine it got pretty dark waiting around in that cocoon!

²¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

²⁴ I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:21-26

I will sing of Your mercy.......

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold and there shall be no herd in the stalls; yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my Salvation

Habakkuk 3:17-18


A song came on the radio while I was driving home today. I have heard it before, many times in fact but today it struck me. I just want to share the lyrics with you. May it speak to your heart as it did mine......

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you


I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures


Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
Valley Song by Jars of Clay

It occurred to me......

Sometimes I threaten to spit at God!


Let me explain........this is Tia. Tia is our new guard Llama. I think she is beautiful and I love her. Just because. She has decided, however, that she does not love me. Not even a little. In fact this is her demeanor whenever I am around.......

and if I try to get any closer she lays her ears back, lifts her head and lets me know if no uncertain terms that if step any closer, she.is.going.to.spit.!! That's all fine and well, except the gnats are kinda bad this year and I really wanted to give her a bit of relief from their pesturing using a bit of fly spray. I know, it stinks and the spray can be a bit unnerving; but as we well know comfort and necessity rarely go hand in hand. I gave up. Llama spit is pretty gross.

And as often is the case, my mind turned to my relationship with God:

Rachel, you know that pet sin is really wrecking havoc in your life.....could I just.....

No, you cannot! Don't get any closer! I am perfectly happy with this sin and I think I will hang on to a little while longer, thank you very much.

And being the gentleman that He is, God does as I ask. He will not force His will on me, even when it is for my own good. He will simply wait, until I am ready to submit to His perfect way.

Revive Us Oh Lord........

Remember Me.......

This week (Thursday to be exact) is the 4 year anniversary of the day we lost our son and were forced to live the rest of our lives without him. I hope you will take a moment to read the following excerpt of his journal, which we found after his death.

The War
How I see it.....
Todd Louis Peck II, February 2005

My intention in this journal is to record as best as possible the spiritual warfare surrounding my recent relapse of cancer so that I may later remember the lessons learned and perhaps share them with others. In fact, sharing the lessons is actually the bigger of my two reasons. My greatest hope is that through my fight and this record of it, others will be equipped and encouraged to take the fight to the Enemy. I believe that all of life is a war fought over the souls of each individual and everything that happens in life somehow fits into this war, whether we know it or not. So when hardships and trials come they ought to be viewed as Enemy attacks and dealt with accordingly.
In war, the purpose of any attack is, of course, to gain some sort of advantage that will in some way bring you nearer ultimate victory. Rather, that sought after advantage is the destruction of some threat which the other has or the gaining of a position that leaves you a better position to threaten the other. The point is always to somehow harm the other's overall position in the great scheme of things.
Thus, this relapse of cancer that God allowed was and is inteneded by the Enemy to somehow gain him something. That something, in this case, is porobably to neutralize what the Enemy's high command perceives as a danger to their war efforts.
That threat may or may not be me (thought I like ot flatter myself that it is) but the fact is that, for whatever reason, I seem to have been chosen as the main point of attack. I therefore, as a soldier in the King's Army, have responsibility to stand and fight to make sure that the Enemy gains not an inch. For it is my (and every soldier's) duty to even turn this attack to the advantage of the Cause and the glory of the King.
This whole thing reasches far beyond me, however. It reaches into my family and into my church and community. I am just on fect of what is a large and complex battle being fought in this small theater of operation called West Michigan. The full extent of this larger fight I will not ever be able to fully comprehend this side of Heaven. Nor will I likely ever understand the extent to which my own standing or falling will influence the larger picture but I will stand!
Indeed, I am resolved to not just stand, but advance! I may be a small part of a huge batle but I will press my influence to its limits for the sake of the Cause.
Lord, have mercy if I should be cut down (i.e. if I allow the Enemy to get the better of me) fo rthe greater the effort, the greater the defeat in the case of failure. But by the grace of God, I shall not fail! As He wills, so may it be. Amen.

Obediance = Love

2 Cor 5:14 ‘For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.’

The Bible tells us that Christ's love compels us (some version use the word constrain) to live for Him, to consider ourselves dead to our own will and alive to His alone.

compel: to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure; to urge forcefully or irresistibly

Lord, cause me to be overwhelmed by Your love. So much so that it forces me to obey, that it leaves me no choice by to live by Your will alone. Help me to understand that it was by Your love for me that I was drawn out of the pit before I even understood my need. Please help me to learn to truly love you by walking in obediance.