Do you happen to remember Janis Joplin’s song “Mercedes Benz”?
Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My friends all drive porsches I must make amends…..
This walk that God and I are on is pretty amazing. It seems He works in themes. While at Near on Monday God brought to mind James 4:1-3.
1-2Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it.
2-3You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way. (James 4:1-3 The Message)
My spirit groaned within me. I understood. completely. The New King James says it this way :
You ask and you do not receive because you ask amiss that you may spend it on your pleasures. (VS 3)
I have been crying out to God. “Teach me to love You.”
He has been answering.
Learn to love what I love. Cry out for that. Cry out for justice, for hope, for freedom for the captives. Stop crying out for your own selfish desires, to satisfy your own pleasure.
While in the book store on Monday God spoke again and reminded me of a song from my childhood, Mercedes Benz. A song I can’t remember not knowing by heart.
Oh Lord won’t you buy me a night on the town?
Prove that you love me and buy the next round…
If you have been reading along since the beginning you remember my reflection from the post tripping:
The strongholds remained, the anger persisted and the peace evaded me. God doesn’t love me…I decided. He doesn’t answer my prayers….He doesn’t care…I don’t even know if He is really there…
Rachel. Do you see now? The unanswered prayer is not a reflection of my love for you. I don’t answer prayer to prove my love. I already did that. The question of My love is settled. I will not give you those things that will destroy you or cause you to be more focused on yourself and less focused on Me. I love you way too much for that.
I came home from the bookstore with one book in hand…a departure from my typical “buy everything in sight until the credit card screams”. In my seeking after God He has convicted me of the need to live simply and with contentment. After arriving home I took a brief inventory of my massive book collection. I won’t bore you with the details but I was shocked to see how I had wasted the resources God has given me on useless things I was convinced for a short time that I needed. Interestingly many of the needed books have never been read. I am learning to want less trinkets and instead to want God.
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